Thursday, November 26, 2009

Drinking Games: The Big Lebowski

TK writes:
Yo kids, I got a job shooting for Girls Gone Wild, and I'll be on tour with them for the next couple of weeks so I won't be tweet-blogging on this information super-highway for a while.

I'll leave you with this week's drinking game: The Big Lebowski. This game is very simple, the simplest we've posted so far. There are only two rules: Every time The Dude drinks a Caucasian / White Russian, you have to drink a Caucasian / White Russian, and every time The Dude drinks a beer, you have to drink a beer.

If you want to play in veteran/hardcore mode, take a hit off a bong every time he smokes weed. Enjoy! Next week Grant will post our most epic drinking game yet:

Friday, November 20, 2009

Drinking Games: Children of Men

TK writes:
Hey kids, I forgot to post the Children of Men drinking game on Wednesday, so with no further ado, here it is. Enjoy!

Drink once every time:
- Theo (Clive Owen) drinks alcohol or holds alcohol in his hand
- Jasper (Michael Caine) smokes weed or has a blunt in his hand
- Jasper (Michael Caine) asks someone to pull his finger
- A shot lasts longer than 1 min without a cut
- You see a random live animal(s) in the shot
- You see graffiti about The Uprising
- Blood gets on the lens
- A main (speaking role) character dies, or if their death is implied

Finish your beer if:
- You see a floating Pink Floyd pig OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE
- A shot lasts longer than 4 min without a cut

If you haven't seen Children of Men, you're a savage. Watch in once without the drinking game (in widescreen, unless you're a jack-off), and then play it with the above rules. Click here to watch the Children of Men trailer.
Now click here to watch HotDamnTV's Twilight: New Moon parody trailer.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Grant on MTV's Next!!

3 years ago, Grant was on an episode of MTV's Next. We've been trying to get a copy of it for a long time, but it's proven difficult. FINALLY we found an old DVD of it lying around and we were able to rip it, convert it, and upload it to the tubes for your viewing pleasure!! (condensed for maximum GRONT) Enjoy!

Inside scoop: Grant totally had the greenlight from the director of the episode to walk off the Next bus TOTALLY NUDE but the girl chose the asshole right before Grant, so he never actually went off of the bus (making Grant 80% less famous than he would have been), however lulz still ensued. Protip: if you rub your nipples for 15 seconds they get hard as DIAMONDS.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

TK's Arrest Warrant

TK writes:
On Saturday, I received two things in the mail. One was a check with even MORE insurance money (Hey Lisa, wanna hang out?). The other was an official notice of a WARRANT FOR MY ARREST
omg omg omg
Naturally I was confused as to what the warrant was for, because I commit SO much crime all the time (see our Oct 22 blog entry). After much legal counsel (ie: drinking at an ICP show with Grant) I discovered that the warrant was issued because I forgot a court date for (here's where the comedy comes in) pissing in public. LOLOLOLOLOL ($2,500 bail)
Needless to say, my father is proud of me. I'd also like to take this time to point out that HotDamnTV is having a contest! Send a picture, paragraph, or video to describing why you're good at sex. One lucky winner will be allowed to give me conjugal visits when I'm on the inside!

Pic related, it's me holding a suppressed MP5 and a warrant for my own arrest.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

More fun with ducats $$$

Kids, you know Lisa, she's the pretty girl that we respected with TK's insurance settlement money. Lisa's little sister Haylie was less than pleased with her big sis' internet fame debut, and Lisa obliged me with a text-by-text:

H: "I'm ashamed of you"
L: *didn't respond cuz I was sleeping*
H: "I saw girl gone wild. gettin with guys for their money... sicko"
L: " "HAHAHAHA girls like money"
H:"at the same time im proud that you're famous on the internet via youtube"
L: "I don't think I'm famous yet... maybe one day"
H: "lol you realize their is a video of you feeling your boobs and having money thrown at you on the internet, right?"
L: "it's mostly a highlight of my life. I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes comedy"

She's a keeper <3 Look forward to a new sketch this week, also the 'Children of Men' drinking game will be posted on the blog on Wednesday AIGHT L8

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Drinking Games: The Spirit

In the interest of cirrhosis, we've decided to post a new drinking game every week starting now. This week: A drinking game based on Bill Eisner's "The Spirit" movie.

Drink once every time:
- The Spirit philanders a broad
- The Spirit talks about "the city"
- Someone gets shot
- You hear a kitten cat meowing
- A retard gets really fucked up / killed (Ethos / Pathos / etc)
- The Spirit Jumps over/off something or does unnecessary parkour
- Sam Jackson talks about eggs or his dislike of them on his face

Finish your beer if:
- You see a dinosaur OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE
- Sam Jackson dresses like a Nazi

Reviews: "I'm definitely pretty drunk and i didn't have to think about it. The movie kept me intrigued and I was interested even though I've seen it before. If TK was a superhero he would be The Spirit because he's obsessed with girls. Based on this experience I would like to try another Grant drinking game."

Have fun kids! Next week: a "Children of Men" drinking game by TK.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

HotDamnTV is back!!

We know that when you're lonely, touching yourself late at night, you're thinking of HotDamnTV and wondering: "Why are there no new videos lol?" The reason we haven't been making new comedy to pleasure you is because some eunuchs stole TK's car a while back, and ALL OF HOTDAMNTV'S GEAR WAS IN HIS TRUNK!
TK was promptly given 40 lashes for leaving over $9000 worth of a/v gear in his trunk in a lousy neighborhood. But don't fret kids, because our property was covered by insurance, and we'll be making new videos in no time!
For the time being, here's some camera-phone fun we had when TK cashed the insurance checks:

Look for a Twilight: New Moon parody trailer coming very soon! <3