Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Twin Thing: Part i: Introduction

Some of you may or may not know that Sean and I are identical twins. This is probably not our most identical picture. Sean slouches a lot and is fatter than meUPDATE: At the time of publishing technically I weigh more than Sean but I'm way fitter. What does being a twin mean? That means that through a motherfucking miracle of some kind after my daddy's sperm knocked up one of my mommy's eggs (cluck) that hot zygote divided into two at some point and shit got CRAZY. We're monozygotic twins (See picture at right for detailed explanation). This is both a blessing and a curse, I mean we're 6 foot 4 and 230 lbs and there's two of us (lol Social Network). All of our lives we've had to endure what seem to be very serious questions about our super powers (Sean can smoke 4 packs of cigarettes in a sitting) and various psychic abilities, but that topic is for another day. Today we're going to talk about another slightly more famous set of twins both of whom are named Michelle. That's right, the Olsen Twins.

Now I'm not one to critique camera work but seriously. You guys. Seriously. I'm not sure if all of the Olsen Twinz video cassette tapes feature more shaky and wobbly framing than The Blair Witch Project but fuck, spend that extra cash on a steady cam rig or a stool or something to set the camera on. These two broads grew up dead center in the eye of the public. Why, you might ask, weren't Sean and I stars of popular sitcoms with serious homoerotic undertones? A VALID QUESTION. Lol, IDK.

Tune in next week when we discuss popular twin questions, metrics are guaranteed because there's nothing funnier than punchlines in pie graph form.

Also happy Rapture! I'm out.


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