Sunday, February 5, 2012

Second Fiddle

Being the violinist in Elton John's band must suck. Does anyone know his name (Jean-Luc Ponty, keep calm and carry on I wiki'd it)? Not even the fanciest E.J. fanboy (lol did you know he changed his middle name to Hercules?) can claim to know who the fuck he is, let alone pick him out on the streets. Being the fiddler in a band must be pretty fresh but also a lot like being the kicker on the football team. The show could not go on without him, but no one would be that angry if he died of cholera. We are here today to remember that unsung hero, the guy (or chick) that rocks that fiddle as HARD as fucking possible. Here are the top 5 baddest fiddle players alive today (in no particular order):

The Guy From Yellowcard

I vividly recall when this video came out and being entranced by the fucking guy with the fiddle. He was rocking out WAY too hard considering the type of instrument he was using. I was confused and a little bit frightened. But then I realized that he was rocking easily three times as hard as the rest of the lame fucks in this band! He knows that he is playing the fiddle in a rock ensemble and that he'll never be in Maroon 5 but he doesn't care. Own it faux-hawk fiddle guy!

The Guy from Turisas

These guys are from Finland. I know because they said that before they opened up for Dragonforce. They rock hard as shit, as a matter of fact not only do they have an electric violin but they have a fine chick playing an accordion! These dudes are some bad ass vikings who wear war paint and just fuck shit up. I want to be everyone in this band when I grow up.

The Chick from Kung Fu Vampire

I actually know this girl's name (Razz) she is a friend of the HotDamns. Dig it, here is a picture of me 'n TK with her:

Kung Fu Vampire has got more people in it than Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Real talk. When they have enough room to fit them all on stage there is a cellist, the head vampire himself, an opera singer, a drummer, a bass player, and Razz (one of the dopest fiddlers to ever rock a bow), and like seven other people. KFV's fiddler is certifiably badass. She rocks in a very mellow style while adding a spooky victorian era horror vibe to the entire proceedings.

Some broad from Dixie Chicks (She might not even be in the band, I don't know.)

I guess there is a chick playing fiddle near these girls. There will be no video. These guys suck.

NOTE: Is there a difference between a violin and a fiddle? Can the terms be used interchangeably? The world may never know.

The Flute Guy From Jethro Tull

Ok, I know there isn't a violin player in this outfit but you have to respect a guy who rocks with a flute. I'm not even sure the words rock and flute had been used in conjunction prior to this guy. Seriously, that thing up there is more than 7 minutes of flute badassery. I wish I could play the flute like this guy. He's almost as good as Ron Burgundy (another San Diego native).